Despite being employed in entirely different companies with vastly divergent cultures, environments and practices, you’ll somehow find that human nature just doesn’t change that much from job to job. No matter where you work at, you are bound to spend most of your time during the day socialising with these 6 distinct types of colleagues you always meet in the office.
Even though some of them might get on your nerves so badly you’ll desire to strangle them, you’ll still strangely miss them at the end of your term. I wouldn’t worry though, you’ll encounter replicas of themselves at your very next employment.
The boot licker, the boss’ pet – the first one to say yes to whatever the boss says. These are the colleagues who never fail to try just too hard in order to get into the manager’s good books. Getting a promotion, a pay-raise or increased employment benefits are just some of the reasons why boot-lickers do what they do. Except for very rare cases, boot-lickers are generally disliked by the rest of the company’s working population; they make the rest look bad.
2) Mama Shop
The co-worker whose desk is the most frequented amongst the employees: if you are unable to find a snack being stocked up in the depths of this colleague’s drawers, chances are that the snack doesn’t exist anymore. Whenever anyone is in need of a mid-day energy boost, they can always count on this colleague’s personal stash of chocolate bars, potato chips and cookies. Just be sure to watch your waist line around mama shop colleagues: don’t be surprised when you find yourself no longer able to fit into those body-sculpting jeans you bought just a month ago.
A whatsapp message at 4am in the morning requesting for you to send some ‘important’ documents over so they can get a head-start on their work? An email reply at 5am at dawn-break detailing clients’ needs for the upcoming projects? You can be sure that all of that above will have been done by a chiongster. Chiongsters are eerily never caught sleeping or resting: all your messages or emails will be attended to within 30 minutes. You’ll catch yourself regarding them with a confusing mixture of respect and pity.
Everyone prays hard to not be grouped with a slacker: these colleagues are always finding excuses to not get anything productive done during the office hours. Or after. On the rare occurrences where you actually witness them making an appearance, physically seated behind their computer screens, you can be sure they’re only just scrolling through their Facebook feed. Sometimes you’ll wonder why they haven’t been fired yet.
5) Complain Queen
It seems like the world owes them something: they will always have a face on which could potentially rival that of the viral Grumpy Cat and there’s inevitably something that they’re complaining about. Maybe the air-conditioning is not cold enough, maybe there’s a weird smell in the restrooms – these complain queens could find something to pick at even on the most pleasant of days. If you don’t want your ear to be talked off, it’s still best to steer clear of such individuals.
6) Email Warrior
These colleagues communicate exclusively through emails. It seems as though they have never heard of ‘Whatsapp’, ‘text messaging’ or ‘Facebook Messenger’. You’ll receive emails from them regarding the most mundane stuff: ‘Hey, just saw this video of a cat barking! HILARIOUS’ and ‘Hey, wanna grab lunch in 15 minutes?’ are just some of them.
Have you identified any of your current colleagues in the above 6 types? If you haven’t, feel free to comment with the other categories of co-workers you’ve encountered!